From Blorbo's reference shelf

A textbook specimen.

Nobody was harmed in the inspection of this specimen. It is the answer set Blorbo files under The Thermostat Warden by the widest margin.

Inspect someone realSix questions. About a minute. No names.

Reference shelf · Case #4693

Subject
A textbook specimen. Nobody real.
Inspector
Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector
Clearance
Public. It's a textbook.

Diagnosis

The Thermostat Warden

Threat level
Level 4: Climate Control Authority
Known weaknesses
open windows, "is it cold in here?", anyone near the dial
Habitat
The hallway, near the little screen, arms folded
Dressed for the occasion: Inspector's Visor.

Field notes

  1. Subject can sense a one-degree change from two rooms away. Blorbo tested this. Blorbo was asked to leave.
  2. Has said "put on a sweater" more times than "hello."
  3. There is a piece of tape on the dial. Nobody remembers putting it there. Everyone knows who did.

Textbook answers

Their group-chat role:
Reply-All Menace
They say "I'll wait" how often:
Weekly
Holiday of choice:
Any day off
At work they are:
Retired from all of it, spiritually
Thermostat stance:
68. Non-negotiable.
A single Tupperware lid has no container. They:
Keep it forever

Verdict

Warden confirmed. The thermostat stays where it is. So does Blorbo.

Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector

Evidence locker

Exhibits A to C: what to get them

A real design from the shop, plus ideas from Blorbo's notebook while he restocks.

  1. Exhibit AOfficial Candy Inspector$24.99

    Why Blorbo picked it: Exhibit A is here because the textbook says they keep the orphan lid forever. Blorbo connected the dots. There was one dot.

  2. Exhibit BTeal T-shirt that reads "The Thermostat Stays At 68", with "This is not a negotiation" underneathTHETHETHERMOSTATTHERMOSTATSTAYS AT 68STAYS AT 68THIS IS NOT ANEGOTIATIONConceptConcept. Not for sale. Blorbo is considering it.

    Why Blorbo drew it: The textbook says the thermostat stays at 68. Blorbo sketched this immediately. He is still sketching.

  3. Exhibit CWhite T-shirt that reads "The House Isn't Haunted", with "Someone touched the thermostat" underneathTHEHOUSEISN'THAUNTEDSOMEONE TOUCHEDTHE THERMOSTATConceptConcept. Not for sale. Blorbo is considering it.

    Why Blorbo drew it: Still about how the thermostat stays at 68. Blorbo has a lot to say about it.

Further jurisdiction: The Oddly Specific Gifts file The Funny Gifts for Coworkers file

Inspect someone real Back to the specimens

Specimens live on Blorbo's reference shelf. Nobody on this page was inspected, harmed or asked about their thermostat.

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