From Blorbo's reference shelf

A textbook specimen.

Nobody was harmed in the inspection of this specimen. It is the answer set Blorbo files under The Blanket Diplomat by the widest margin.

Inspect someone realSix questions. About a minute. No names.

Reference shelf · Case #7791

Subject
A textbook specimen. Nobody real.
Inspector
Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector
Clearance
Public. It's a textbook.

Diagnosis

The Blanket Diplomat

Threat level
Level 1: Extremely Cozy, Mostly Harmless
Known weaknesses
a cold room, being asked to get up, the thermostat (they would never touch it)
Habitat
The corner of the couch, under at least one blanket
Dressed for the occasion: Bedsheet Ghost.

Field notes

  1. Subject ended a thermostat war by arriving with a blanket. Both sides signed.
  2. Owns more blankets than chairs. There is a blanket in the car.
  3. Took a nap during this interrogation. Blorbo allowed it. It seemed important.

Textbook answers

Their group-chat role:
Reply-All Menace
They say "I'll wait" how often:
Never
Holiday of choice:
Any day off
At work they are:
Retired from all of it, spiritually
Thermostat stance:
I have a blanket
A single Tupperware lid has no container. They:
Keep it forever

Verdict

Diplomat confirmed. A treaty has been signed. Blorbo is under the blanket now too.

Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector

Evidence locker

Exhibits A to C: what to get them

Real designs from the shop, picked by the answers above. Checkout happens on Etsy.

  1. Exhibit ACoffee and Candy Corn$24.99

    Why Blorbo picked it: Exhibit A is here because the textbook says they never say "I'll wait". Blorbo connected the dots. There was one dot.

  2. Exhibit BSpell Check Witch$24.99

    Why Blorbo picked it: Also because the textbook says they never say "I'll wait". Blorbo is not over it.

  3. Exhibit CBoo Shirt$24.99

    Why Blorbo picked it: Still about how they never say "I'll wait". Blorbo has a lot to say about it.

Further jurisdiction: The Oddly Specific Gifts file

Inspect someone real Back to the specimens

Specimens live on Blorbo's reference shelf. Nobody on this page was inspected, harmed or asked about their thermostat.

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