From Blorbo's reference shelf

A textbook specimen.

Nobody was harmed in the inspection of this specimen. It is the answer set Blorbo files under The Matching-Pajamas Enforcer by the widest margin.

Inspect someone realSix questions. About a minute. No names.

Reference shelf · Case #2959

Subject
A textbook specimen. Nobody real.
Inspector
Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector
Clearance
Public. It's a textbook.

Diagnosis

The Matching-Pajamas Enforcer

Threat level
Level 5: Everyone Is In The Photo
Known weaknesses
a teenager who "doesn't do photos," sizing charts, the dog refusing the hood
Habitat
The living room, holding a camera on a ten-second timer
Dressed for the occasion: Party Hat.

Field notes

  1. Subject ordered matching pajamas in August. In every size. Including the dog's.
  2. The family photo will be retaken until everyone is smiling. Everyone is smiling now. Everyone.
  3. Considers "I'm not wearing that" an opening offer.

Textbook answers

Their group-chat role:
Voice-Note Offender
They say "I'll wait" how often:
Never
Holiday of choice:
Christmas (since Nov 1)
At work they are:
The one with the good stapler
Thermostat stance:
68. Non-negotiable.
A single Tupperware lid has no container. They:
Keep it forever

Verdict

Enforcer confirmed. Blorbo is in the photo. He did not agree to this. He is smiling.

Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector

Evidence locker

Exhibits A to C: what to get them

Real designs from the shop, picked by the answers above. Checkout happens on Etsy.

  1. Exhibit AOfficial Candy Inspector$24.99

    Why Blorbo picked it: Exhibit A is here because the textbook says they keep the orphan lid forever. Blorbo connected the dots. There was one dot.

  2. Exhibit BCoffee and Candy Corn$24.99

    Why Blorbo picked it: The textbook says they never say "I'll wait". Blorbo took that personally and came back with Exhibit B.

  3. Exhibit CSpell Check Witch$24.99

    Why Blorbo picked it: Still about how they never say "I'll wait". Blorbo has a lot to say about it.

Further jurisdiction: The Funny Family & Couple Christmas Shirts file The Funny Christmas Shirts file

Inspect someone real Back to the specimens

Specimens live on Blorbo's reference shelf. Nobody on this page was inspected, harmed or asked about their thermostat.

More from the office