Reference shelf · Case #5391
- Subject
- A textbook specimen. Nobody real.
- Inspector
- Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector
- Clearance
- Public. It's a textbook.
Diagnosis
The Year-Round Spooky Gremlin
- Threat level
- Level 4: Skeleton In The Yard Since August
- Known weaknesses
- November 1st, store-bought costumes, the phrase "a bit early"
- Habitat
- The seasonal aisle, three weeks before it opens
Field notes
- Subject's decorations went up in August. Blorbo asked when they come down. Subject laughed for a long time.
- Owns at least one skeleton with an outfit for every holiday.
- Considers a witch hat business casual.
Textbook answers
- Their group-chat role:
- Meme Sender
- They say "I'll wait" how often:
- Daily
- Holiday of choice:
- Halloween (since August)
- At work they are:
- The one with the good stapler
- Thermostat stance:
- Opens a window in December
- A single Tupperware lid has no container. They:
- Blame the dishwasher
Verdict
Gremlin confirmed. Blorbo has been handed a witch hat. He was not asked.
Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector
