From Blorbo's reference shelf

A textbook specimen.

Nobody was harmed in the inspection of this specimen. It is the answer set Blorbo files under The Christmas-Since-November Agent by the widest margin.

Inspect someone realSix questions. About a minute. No names.

Reference shelf · Case #7278

Subject
A textbook specimen. Nobody real.
Inspector
Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector
Clearance
Public. It's a textbook.

Diagnosis

The Christmas-Since-November Agent

Threat level
Level 4: The Tree Is Already Up
Known weaknesses
the phrase "after Thanksgiving," tangled lights, December 26th
Habitat
Under the tree, or on a ladder near the gutters
Dressed for the occasion: Santa Hat.

Field notes

  1. Subject's tree went up on November 1st, while the jack-o'-lanterns were still warm.
  2. Has a holiday playlist. It has been playing since Halloween ended. It is not a long playlist.
  3. Bought the presents in July. Hid them. Is now wrapping something else in a hurry.

Textbook answers

Their group-chat role:
Meme Sender
They say "I'll wait" how often:
Weekly
Holiday of choice:
Christmas (since Nov 1)
At work they are:
The one with the good stapler
Thermostat stance:
Opens a window in December
A single Tupperware lid has no container. They:
Blame the dishwasher

Verdict

Agent confirmed. Blorbo has been fitted for a Santa hat. It is not December.

Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector

Evidence locker

Exhibits A to C: what to get them

A real design from the shop, plus ideas from Blorbo's notebook while he restocks.

  1. Exhibit AOfficial Candy Inspector$24.99

    Why Blorbo picked it: The textbook says their tree goes up November 1st. Exhibit A was built for that.

  2. Exhibit BInk T-shirt that reads "The Tree Goes Up November 1st", with "This is not a discussion" underneathTHE TREEGOES UPNOVEMBER1STTHIS IS NOT ADISCUSSIONConceptConcept. Not for sale. Blorbo is considering it.

    Why Blorbo drew it: Still about how their tree goes up November 1st. Blorbo has a lot to say about it.

  3. Exhibit CHeather grey T-shirt that reads "Scheduled Nap: December 25, 4 PM", with "Do not wake for presents" underneathScheduledNap:December25, 4 PMDO NOT WAKEFOR PRESENTSConceptConcept. Not for sale. Blorbo is considering it.

    Why Blorbo drew it: Their tree goes up November 1st, again. Blorbo underlined it a second time and drew this.

Further jurisdiction: The Funny Christmas Shirts file The Funny Family & Couple Christmas Shirts file

Inspect someone real Back to the specimens

Specimens live on Blorbo's reference shelf. Nobody on this page was inspected, harmed or asked about their thermostat.

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