Reference shelf · Case #3090
- Subject
- A textbook specimen. Nobody real.
- Inspector
- Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector
- Clearance
- Public. It's a textbook.
Diagnosis
The Recess Enthusiast
- Threat level
- Level 2: Four Square Champion (Retired)
- Known weaknesses
- rain, indoor recess, the phrase "act your age"
- Habitat
- The playground, explaining a game nobody asked to play
- Nemesis
- The "I'll Wait"
Field notes
- Subject still knows every rule of four square, including several they made up.
- Considers a juice box a valid beverage at any age, at any event.
- Challenged Blorbo to a race. Blorbo has very small feet. Blorbo lost.
Textbook answers
- Their group-chat role:
- Meme Sender
- They say "I'll wait" how often:
- Never
- Holiday of choice:
- Any day off
- At work they are:
- The one with the red pen
- Thermostat stance:
- Fears it
- A single Tupperware lid has no container. They:
- Keep it forever
Verdict
Enthusiast confirmed. Recess has been extended. Blorbo did not check with anyone.
Blorbo, Chief Gift Inspector
