Office of the Chief Gift Inspector · Form P-100

A formal complaint.

Blorbo keeps a tally of every poke. Every single one. At one hundred he stops being polite about it and files the letter below. Under one hundred it stays a draft, and he re-reads it at night with his one eye narrowed.

The letter is filled in on this device from your poke count. Nothing is sent anywhere. Print it, frame it, or poke him a few more times and watch the number go up.

Office of the Chief Gift Inspector

Oddly Specific Goods · Quality Control, Squinting and Approvals · meetblorbo.com

Date
not filled in yet
Complaint no.
not filled in yet
Re
Excessive poking of an inspector
Respondent
not filled in yet

To Whom It May Concern:

You have poked me not filled in yet times. I counted. I have one eye and it was on you the whole time.

I am not angry. I am documenting.

Each poke has been logged, initialled and filed in triplicate. Two of the copies have since gone missing, which is a separate investigation.

I would like to remind you that I am an inspector, not a doorbell. Please direct all further pokes at the shirts. The shirts do not mind. I have asked them.

Respectfully, and with one eye still on you,

Blorbo

(his mark: )

Chief Gift Inspector

cc: The Magnifying Glass (witness)
Enc.: one (1) poke tally, initialled